This Day In History

Well here is my election day post. Don't worry, who won and my thoughts on it wont be discussed. Instead I have a newfound patriotism for my country. I don't think I've ever realized how awesome this ability to vote is. Here's a little review of how my day went.
I woke up, remembered I could vote, got super excited, and then almost bailed on it because I didn't want to have to get ready for work any earlier then I already had to. How pathetic right? Luckily I talked myself into going. I really didn't want to miss out on an opportunity I've been waiting for for so long.
So I get to my voting place and start sweating because I'm worried I have no idea what I'm doing and I hate making a fool of myself out of ignorance. But everyone was really nice and helpful and it went nice and smooth (mostly).
And then as I was sitting there filling in little bubbles I kinda had a moment...
I realized how FREAKING AWESOME it is that I was there. That I was able to say exactly what I wanted to and not have it analyzed by anyone else. I could simply state my opinion, hand it to someone who would take it into consideration (just as equally as anyone else's) and be done. And that was that. How cool is it that some old dudes a long time ago fought for me to be able to fill in bubbles. Sure you think thats sarcasm but it's not. I may be drastically out voted in my state and my presidential vote might be irrelevant to my state as a whole. But there's so many other things I said today in little bubble language that did matter. I exercised a right that many people don't have today. I felt like I did something important today. I felt like part of something bigger than myself today. And for that I am grateful.


P.S. Thanks Mom and Dad for setting a great example for me. Now I finally get an "I Voted" sticker of my own :]

To School Or Not To School, That Is The Question

Well I haven't blogged in forever. (Like I ever really did..) But today I'm feeling disheartened. I feel like I'm trying SO FREAKING HARD to be progressive and move forward in my life. I'm working my butt off to try and get where I want to be and I feel like it's all crashing down around me. I just started signing up for my classes for next semester and realized that I'm not even a junior yet. That this upcoming semester will be the start of my junior year at BSU. SERIOUSLY? I've been in school for 5 semesters. I've been wasting away my life going in and out of classrooms, squashing ridiculous amounts of information into my fairly small head and trying my damnedest to get good grades for the last 2 and a half years and I feel like I've gotten no where. Im just barely to the halfway point when all my friends are about to graduate. I just want it to be over. I hate school. The best part is, I don't even like my major anymore. I have NO IDEA what I want to do with my life. I literally switch between two majors (photography, graphic design) every semester thinking that maybe, just maybe it will finally click and it will all make sense and I'll finally know i'm where I'm supposed to be. But it hasn't happened yet. Don't get me wrong, I love art. I couldn't imagine doing anything else with my life, but how am I going to make a living in it? I don't want to be a portrait photographer, and honestly I don't have the confidence in my photography abilities that I used to. I just don't think that it's for me. And graphic design is just my fall back plan, I know I could be good at it, but I don't like it, and I don't have much knowledge in it. So I'm now to the point where I just don't know why I'm even doing this to myself anymore. I want my degree, but I don't have a clue what I want it in. And I already feel so behind that the last thing I want to do is start all over.
And on the other hand I have cosmetology school. I've ALWAYS wanted to go to hair school. But my parents basically told me it wasn't good enough and bribed me into going to college. Which isn't a bad thing. I appreciate that they pushed me to go to college. I appreciate the education that I've received and the things I've learned. I appreciate my Associates degree and the accomplishment it made me feel. I appreciate the determination that has been instilled in me through them. But I really do think I want to go to cosmetology school. It's what I always come back to and every time I hear someone is going to beauty school I get a little pang of jealousy. However thanks to good old mom and dad I feel like it still isn't good enough, and I also suck at giving up on things. I refuse to give up on my Bachelors. I need it. I've worked way to hard to just throw in the towel. So basically I feel torn and lost and it's been going on for months.
I have no idea what I'm going to do, but writing things out always helps me get my brain back on track. It makes me think rationally again so maybe now I can actually get down to business and sort my crap out. We can only hope. Thanks for baring with my ramblings and complaining.